STOP the Panic!

You can stop awfulizing
(and prevent others from doing it to you)

Many people make things worse than they are and create a sense of panic before there is anything to worry about. These people imagine how awful circumstances can be; and then they worry about it, usually out loud.

There is a new word for what these people are doing, and it makes perfect sense:

Awfulize v. to imagine or predict the worst circumstances or outcome.
Source: www.doubletongued.org.

Warren (my husband) and I spent New Year’s Eve in New York City. We were traveling home on January 1, and while we were checking out of the hotel I asked the desk clerk to please call us a taxi to the airport. The look on her face had me concerned immediately. She told us that today was a holiday and that taxis don’t work on holidays and it would be a very long wait to find one to take us to the airport.

Now, as you know I travel extensively, and in my experience, taxis do not have ‘no-work days,’ especially in a city like New York with a couple of million tourists there for the big countdown. I calmly smiled, and asked her to call anyway. In the meantime, Warren walked outside the hotel and flagged down a taxi within the first minute.

I wonder if a less experienced traveler would have fallen victim to the clerk’s awfulizing. Awfulizing can be incredibly contagious.

Awfulizing the weather

I was off to California earlier this year, and my mother called me before I left to see if the airports were still open. Apparently at that time California was getting quite a lot of rain and they were concerned about mud slides. She began awfulizing about it. I told my mom that even if there were mud slides, the airport would still be open. Rain does not stop air travel (especially to southern California in January).

I remained calm again, and that allowed me to not catch the awfulizing virus she was trying to share (albeit unconsciously).

Are you so calm when it comes to awfulizing? Can you smile, and subconsciously say “I’m not going there”? Are you calm when the weatherman tells you that we are in for a major snowstorm? Are you calm as you prepare for a meeting or a family gathering, even with people you don’t know well? Are you calm at work when you have a staff meeting, or a downsizing, or a new boss on the way?

Awfulizing at work

How about awfulizing at the office? Do you remember the last time you were told that your department was getting a new manager? Did a group of people get together and imagine what type of ogre she was going to be?

Statistically, two out of three people don’t like their job. Why they stay puzzles me, but one reason people stay is that they awfulize about the new job they imagine. They haven’t even applied for another job, but they spend time making the worst of a new situation (that hasn’t even happened yet!) and avoid even looking for that new job because it might be as terrible as they imagine.

Why do we do that? More importantly, how can we stop this bad habit immediately?

Here are some tips to help keep your cool, and to avoid awfulizing or being awfulized:

1) Put everything into perspective. What is currently the situation, what is the worst possible situation, and what is the best possible situation? Once you’ve established the range, look at the most likely situation. Putting everything into perspective allows you to look at (and potentially prepare for) the worst-case scenario, but it will also help you to see that it is not likely to happen. The new boss might be horrible; she may have no management experience and micro-manage you. Or, maybe she’s perfect for you and you’ll end up loving your job and your boss. Reality says that the truth is probably somewhere in the middle. If it is as horrible as I awfulized it, I can get a new job. If it is as perfect as I would like, then I’ll be really happy. Either way, I still can do something to be happy about my new situation instead of worrying that I’ll have a terrible new boss. I avoid awfulizing the unknown by putting it into perspective.

2) Focus on the ‘right now’ rather than the future. Getting caught up in future consequences is classic awfulizing. Stay with the now, and not the future. Worrying about your new boss, or that you’ll get demoted or fired, is not about the here and now, it’s awfulizing about the future. Worry about now… and then revert back to tip #1.

3) Avoid ‘absolute’ thinking, such as always and never. “We’ll never get a taxi in New York City on New Year’s Day” is awfulizing. Even if it was true, it would be better, and more accurate, to say, “It will be difficult to get a taxi in New York City on New Year’s Day.”

4) Use humour, and find something positive about even the worst situation. Make light of the fact that you get to spend extra time in an amazing place like New York. Joke that your new boss will be like the ones on “The Office” or “Mary Tyler Moore.” It’s hard to awfulize when you’re laughing.

Awfulizing is a bad habit that is completely within your control to change. Don’t worry about what you can’t change, and change what you can.